Dear friends, do you have any experience-youwant sth so much but get only hurt and self-doubt? Yes. For me , that isEnglish learning.
Several years ago, during the boring life of high school, I had a littlecrush on a boy, skin white and score high,especially in English subject. Someday I passedhis desk alone-he was not there- finding that its surface was full of doodles. Oneof the sentences was: “What a mess!” -What does mess mean? You didn’t see it inany corner of textbook. Why don’t you know it? That is the gap between you andgood learner like him! Soon the boy was recommended to Beijing InternationalStudy University. I couldn’t see him anymore–What a mess! At that time, the boymaybe just wrote the ”mess” word randomly, but I remembered it until now.
Time passed by, I graduated from collage.Someday an interview chance was received. Attractive title, high salary. In themeeting room I felt everything gonna be Okay until the interviewer asked me:“How is your English?” ”not bad.” “So here is a question-China is cutting taxesand administrative fees, how will it influence our company?” What? Cuttingtaxes and administrative fees? I know the meaning of every single word butstill don’t know the meaning behind the whole phrase. Long silence. I lost thatjob. Why don’t you know it? You are such a loserin English study!
Several weeks ago, I joined a club, whichis EOE, amazing people, big family. Believe it or not I felt a little bit stressfulamong you. Your English is too good! Why? Is it because you major in English? Yourworking language is English? Or because you married an English? Whatever, itdoesn’t matter. Every speech of yours is full of complex words, such asmanipulate, configurations, habitat…Under the table I looked them up in dictionary,and couldn’t stop asking myself: “What does this word or phrase mean?” “Whydon’t you know it?”
One day I asked my mentor:” Should I recite50 words everyday?”“No, I think your vocabulary is largeenough.”” But you guys know so many words. Thatis what good speakers should be like…”” You need not usecomplex words in your speech. Just express your own idea.”
All of a sudden, I realized that, all theyears I asked the wrong question. Why don’t you know it? Why don’t you keepreciting words? Why couldn’t you learn English well?
I blame myself, keep allunhappy and regretfulmemory, afraid of losing face in front of peopleso much that I hardly try impromptu speech. How could a wrong question lead meto the right answer?
English learning shouldn’tbe a burden. I remember I was moved to cry when readingoriginal fiction like Jane Eyre. I felt so good when talking with a foreigner,expressing not fluently but still completely. I dreamed of traveling around theworld and having overseas work experience . In these situations, language is nolonger a challenge but a bridge, drive me to cross the gap of cultures and people.
Maybe the question should be changed-It isnot” Why don’t you know it?” but “How do you see it? “How do you see it? Whatis your own idea? How would you feel the beauty of the language , rather than sufferits burden?
Let me go back to the fundamentals-Don’t Judge, calm down. Open month, just talk. I know,I would make it one day. I know you would too. Let’s get started.